'My trajectory right now is five steps forward, two steps backwards.'
Meenakshi Seshadri has always had the guts to be unique among Bollywood's cookie-cutter stars. Now she is exhibiting rare courage again, leaving behind her life in the US to seek creative satisfaction in India.
Before the interview, Dinesh Raheja jokingly pleads with her not to end up playing mother roles.
She laughs whole-heartedly, "Arrey baba, I might soon become a grandmother, how can I not play an onscreen mother?"
"I don't expect the heroine's role," she adds, and then pragmatically lays out her plans on achieving that perfect cinematic balance: "Jahan main bhi khush, janta bhi khush aur film-maker bhi khush (which pleases me, the audience and the film-maker)."
How are you adjusting to India and Bollywood after being away for three decades? Is it a bit like your famous song: Zindagi Har Kadam Ek Nayee Jung Hai?
I have returned after living in the US for 28 years.
The first thing I have noticed about people who are in their 20s or 30s and are working in this industry, I find them very mannerless.
Mannerlessness comes from disrespect.
I don't take it personally because ultimately, it means that the person in front of me doesn't respect themselves enough to come across as a respectful person.
What do you attribute that to -- they don't know of your achievements?
I would attribute it to ignorance, and not being very self-aware.
You might be doing a great job but it's not enough if you don't know who you are as a person.
Absolutely. Looking back, at what stage of life were you when you moved to America?
I got married in 1995 and within two years, bit by bit, I finally moved to the US.
Till then, I was completing Ghatak and a new movie, Mil Gayee Manzil Mujhe, which was retitled Do Rahein.
I was also appearing for the second year exams of my Master's degree in Ancient Indian Culture.
From being a popular actress to leading an anonymous life in a foreign country, was there any trepidation?
Initially, I convinced Harish (Mysore, her husband) to move to India, and he did.
I didn't know he would do that!
I threw him this curve ball by telling him, "I'm good at Hindi films and at Indian classical dance and I won't get these opportunities there. So would you see if you can make your career in India?'
He made the effort. He came to India with an American company, and was here for almost a year.
But it wasn't working out very well for him because as an investment banker, his real opportunities were in the US.
I recognised that I just needed to get over my insecurities.
Once I focused on what I really wanted, the answer was clear: I wanted a family.
I sold all my properties in India and said goodbye.
Women can have it all. Do you agree?
When I am asked why only the men have longevity in the film industry, I reply: Biologically, only a woman can bear children. Child birth and child nurturing has, over the centuries, become a woman's stronghold.
But it is changing.
There are a few couples where the woman wears the pants.
Has your husband come down to India with you this time?
No.
Have you two worked out an arrangement?
That's our private matter.
You had told me your son Josh is not fluent in Hindi but is toying with the idea of giving Bollywood a shot.
Josh has a creative bent of mind and is open to showbiz. But currently, he has two more years before he graduates from college in computer science.
Is your daughter also inclined towards the arts?
Kendra graduated in psychology, but is working in finance now.
She is incredibly talented, and has an excellent grasp over dancing and music, but has zero interest in persevering with them.
You taught her to dance?
Yes.
Did you also teach dancing to your son?
No, I didn't teach him to dance, but I taught him to be weird and eccentric.
How did you do that?
Simple. By being myself!
So you think you're weird and eccentric? When we met at our common friend's house, you asked me, 'Do you still find me boring?' And I said, 'I never found you boring, I found you different.'
I would like to talk about one of our encounters (laughs).
We met for the first time at the outdoor of Subhash Ghai's Hero in Ooty. I was unwell and stayed close to my mom.
You went back and wrote I was an 'Ice Maiden' because you thought that fit my personality and attitude.
This title stuck to me throughout my career. But now, I have evolved. America is a melting pot and you become a different person after you assimilate with people from so many countries.
So for the second innings of my career, I want you to come up with a new label.
I will try. When and why did you decide to embark on 'your second innings'?
I have been thinking about it for more than a decade.
I was waiting for Kendra and Josh to stand on their own two feet and say, 'Yes, we are grown up adults.'
Did you discuss it with your family?
It was not an arbitrary call. I have the full support and encouragement of my family.
What do your children think of their mom as an actress? Do they find your films retro and quaint?
My children are very proud of me, and of the fact that at the age of 17, I was a Miss India and then one of the top actresses in India for 15 years.
But they have only seen a few of my noteworthy films. I don't think they quite understand the Indian style of acting in the '80s.
With every decade, the acting style evolves. How do you plan to stay updated?
Firstly, I will trust my instincts as an artiste who understands the medium.
I would also try to find synergy with the mood and the tempo of the present day.
Would you be comfortable with today's cussing-and-kissing scenario?
The audience loved seeing me doing classical and semi-classical routines. But I would love to do an item song today.
People are now willing to accept somebody breaking an image.
I say it from a place of confidence that there is scope for somebody my age in a relevant story to be able to do a dance, and for people to enjoy it.
I can't imagine you doing a Chikni Chameli, but I can visualise you doing Kaisi Paheli Zindagani from Parineeta.
That's a wonderful example. Rekha was riveting in that song.
Which contemporary actress is doing good work according to you?
Vidya Balan, Tabu, Shefali Shah and Divya Dutta have the capacity to overcome boundaries and surprise. I aim to do the same.
When you look back at your career, have you surprised yourself and others?
Within three years of joining movies, I played a prostitute in Allahrakha. That came soon after Hero and was quite a surprise.
I also played a negative role in Bewafai with Rajesh Khanna.
Pravesh Sippy, who produced Meri Jung, offered you a film right in front of me. Are you on board?
Pravesh is keen on a project, and would like to include me. Let's see. Whatever he decides.
Have you signed a film yet?
My trajectory right now is five steps forward, two steps backwards (laughs).
I can't just accept anything and hope that it works out. I have to make the right choices.
